Well walking home, I started to cry, but I held most of it in.
This girl, she was one of my best friends, and she called me controlling, said I always pick out her bad bits.
Then, walking home, Luke said the same thing, the one person who means everything to me, said that..
and it hurt, for that one person who I love the most to say that really made me feel like rubbish,
I believe everything little thing he says, so now he says this, all the bad things I've ever thought about my self was confirmed, by the person who means everything to me.
Then, on the way to citizenship, this girl, was all over him.
Flirting, smiling, laughing, and walking behind them, it got me upset.
Me, and my two close friends were just watching, no-one understands the urge i had to pull her down by her hair and drag her across the floor.
Thats how annoyed I was.
This girl basically sucked up to me because she thought i was going to the year office about her, and now she has nothing to do with me, calls me names again and flirts with my boyfriend, i hate it.
So now i'm a 'frig' because its been more than 6 months and i haven't kissed luke.
i mean, he can get anyone, because thats how amazing he is.
probably anyone would kiss him in the first month, but thats not what i want, i don't want to rush,
i love hugging, sitting there, smiling, talking, getting butterflies, playing with each others hair, i don't want someone who'll be all over me like that, hence the reason i chose luke.
I'm afraid, ok? after a kiss, what else is there? nothing to wait for.. nothing. i don't want him to get bored of me.
and i feel pressured into doing it by everyone.
No-one will ever understand how much love i have for luke, and in english, when we're doing love poetry i can't get him off my mind. when the teacher asks about your first love and i can't help but glance over at him.
I lost someone special for being 'controlling' and i don't want to lose him:'(
It's confusing/: i want to change, i don't want to be 'controlling' but then he tells me he loves me just the way i am. I just don't get it:(
He never fails to make me laugh, give me butterflies, make me smile, and I hate the thought of never having that again.
Theres some of the 'popular' people including her, that would probably go out with Luke, and I know they'd be full on, they're much prettier, more experienced, better than me but no-one will ever love him more than i do.
and at this very moment in time, i just want to be in his arms, and him tell me it'll all be okay.
Comments
Advice.
The girl who is flirting with him knows that you hate that. Your boyfriend loves you a lot to wait to kiss you like that :]. Plus, I AGREEE, your thinking it mostly right! I think that kissing him wont make him leave tho. But, nothing you've said has given me any ideas that he pressured you into it. He's a good guy and your a good girl. There's nothing wrong with waiting. The people who are saying that to you probably haven't waited for anything. I think you get a lot more pleasure out of waiting. :] Good luck and keep it up! Don't let the stupid things us teens say get to you. Take advice from the important people in your life. <3. Love, Leesa; Stay Beautiful.
Thank you so so much<3
it'll get better<3 he'll definitely understand. and I've been in that posistion before, I know exactly how you feel girl! maybe you should kiss him, you'll connect better maybe, and he wouldn't leave you or get bored. it's clear he likes you loads<3
aw, thank you, i will(:<3